Whales change their song every year. So do I. We all do. We search the expanses for the cosmic rhythm that makes us alive while we are still just that, alive. We are aware of the inevitable. We will one day lose those we are closest to and who keep our hearts pounding,  Those who keep us happy and alive. I haven't been so aware of mortality since I was a teenager. I'm older, I'm more decrepit and I feel a pressure that's been building.
I've never been happier. Growing older is beautiful, the greatest of blessings. I am collecting rather than rejecting. Children, teens, it may be awful now but it gets better. You begin to realize who you are and that others have little say in who you choose to be. They may also have profound influence. Be aware of the consequences of what you choose to do. In the words of Maurice Sendak.."Live your life, live your life, live your life."
Amen. We only have this one.

This Life

I work a whole lot. I'd work more if more work was available. I am a server. Everyone tells me that I can do more with my life, I am happy and complacent. I get to meet so many people in my line of work. I don't make much money but I gain wealth.
Tell me your story. Now it's part of mine.
Smile at me, the day became brighter.
I used to swim. I remember touching my fingers and toes to the starting line, waiting for the gunshot to extend and delve and surface again.
I am now waiting. I am gathering. I am listening. When I hear that gunshot, you will have so many stories to hear. I will tell them to you the best I can.

This strange, sad world.

Getting older is rather interesting. You remember the naive declarations of youth while trying to balance the responsible realizations of mortality as an older individual. When I say older....I mean any age over...."hey...someone else will pay for it.." Sometimes this does not occur for a long. long. long while.
I'm working this whole month through. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth....not because I'm working so much, but because I'm not working toward anything substantial at the moment. I'm turning thirty, (cliche heart attack moment) and it's scary.There are so many static moments. The moments where things just don't change and the moments where true intuition is over-wrought by worrisome concerns.
We all live and we all die, both our blessing and our curse. So what do we do while we're here? Buddha says chill out...Jesus says give....My mom says get it together. I understand my mom best. But my mom and dad are superheroes. They have done more than I could ever understand. They have worked harder than anyone I know. I hope this generation can be more like the good folks, those who created a better world for us...our children...our future. Those left with the burden to hold our dreams.
Some of them are us, some of them are still growing, I hope we hold on.