Whales change their song every year. So do I. We all do. We search the expanses for the cosmic rhythm that makes us alive while we are still just that, alive. We are aware of the inevitable. We will one day lose those we are closest to and who keep our hearts pounding,  Those who keep us happy and alive. I haven't been so aware of mortality since I was a teenager. I'm older, I'm more decrepit and I feel a pressure that's been building.
I've never been happier. Growing older is beautiful, the greatest of blessings. I am collecting rather than rejecting. Children, teens, it may be awful now but it gets better. You begin to realize who you are and that others have little say in who you choose to be. They may also have profound influence. Be aware of the consequences of what you choose to do. In the words of Maurice Sendak.."Live your life, live your life, live your life."
Amen. We only have this one.